A good friend of mine is with the rest of his family right now at his grandfather's funeral, and even though it's a sad occasion, I can tell it's a good thing for the family to be together by some of his comments.
I remember the times when the grandparents of our family passed away and how each of those moments were special. All the family came together without any other agendas or schedules. Everyone understood the place where they were supposed to be; with family. Everyone had their own special relationship with the grandparents and when the family comes together, they laugh and they cry, as the remember and honor the person who is the reason for the family in the first place.
There are no other distractions like cooking the turkey at Thanksgiving, or wrapping the gifts at Christmas, or lighting the candles for a birthday cake. Usually, friends of the family handle providing more than enough food. The enviroment that's created is one that allows the family to just enjoy one another's company in a way that's rarely ever done. It's hard to describe unless you have been a part of it, but distractions are gone.
I realize not all families are this way. Not all deaths welcome this kind of gathering. All funerals are different, but if you find yourself looking in on a family experiencing a death, understand that your contributions, whether it's food, flowers, or cards, doesn't just express condolences. It also helps to create an environment that could be one of the most special memories for that family.